Everyone just keeps on disappearing. Some things just vanish, as if they were cut away. Others fade slowly into the mist. And all that remains is a desert.

Haruki Murakami

The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.



only vainly,

vainly you will stand there

were past is walking.


only vainly

you will catch

the broken moments

and lay them back

to empty heart.

it drowned

drowned like the words 

in past.



with all your

heart. ~


When you decide to die, little things begin to happen. You stop looking both ways before you cross the street, you start answering the door without asking who’s there. You don’t hold onto the railing when you go down the escalator, you don’t buckle your seat belt. You play with matches. You smoke, and breathe it in, actually praying it will make a difference. Deciding to die is actually almost nice, in a way. You stop caring. Even if you are not pro-actively looking for ways to kill yourself, you stop looking for ways to survive.


Getting you out of my mind
is like separating the wind from the cloud.
i’m afraid
afraid of losing someone
I never had
and never will.. ~
there is a point in a person’s life
when your heart changes..
when it breaks for the first time.
It feels like it change shape.
change color.
you don’t mean to let it happen,
but it does.
and your old heart stays hidden and veiled.
and never goes back
to the way it used to be.~